Tag Archive | Forgiveness

Forgiveness Starts With Yourself


How can we forgive others, if we can’t even forgive ourselves?  None of us are perfect and we all have flaws.

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It’s not about forgiving another. Forgiveness is not about forgiving your parents, friends, loved ones. Forgiveness exists when you love yourself so much you realize all the choices you’ve made were the best choices you could make at that point in time. Nothing in life blocks the feelings of gratitude more than anger and resentment. This is why I say that the practice of gratitude requires the work of forgiveness. One can never feel grateful to your loved one who has done you wrong or abused you while you are still angry about their wrong doings, abuse or insensitivity, nor can one ever receive the gifts of a relationship that has ended. If you can forgive your friend, or even a stranger, why can’t you forgive yourself? we have to learn how to forgive ourselves. While the careless among us waste little time or conscience berating themselves for the mistakes that they have made, the overly self-conscious can’t seem to stop beating themselves over the head.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future and only you can come to the place where you want to forgive. What helps the forgiveness process is to actually understand that resentment is a second-hand attitude or emotion, plus also a cover for underlying feelings that you have never expressed. Learn from the hurt and pain that people have caused you. If you really took the time to express fully what your hurt and pain is and state your new boundary, you’ll begin to be grateful for the lessons the wound has taught you. You will be able to stand up for yourself, be kinder towards others, stop hurting other people’s feelings, betraying them or whatever the case may be. True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment. It’s fine to have high expectations for one’s self, but not if it means destroying your own self-esteem.  What loving yourself does mean, is that you learn to have self-respect and you take care of your body, mind and spirit — it means having a sense of purpose in life, striving to improve ourselves and working to help others.  For me, it really means “I love me and thus, I love you” — and if everyone centers their life around love and compassion, the world becomes a much, much better place.

 

Forgiveness Is A Life Long Commitment


A restored relationship gives glory to God. It can become even better after suffering through affliction, betrayal, and sin. Love is the healing balm that makes this possible. Forgiveness is a promise, not a feeling. When you forgive other people, you are making a promise not to use their past sins against them.
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We cannot however change people, or their reaction to our sin. We can only work on changing ourselves with God’s grace. Forgiveness is a major part of life that almost everyone has trouble doing. Learning to forgive someone that has wronged us is a very long and difficult process that must be done. Without forgiveness we can not let go of the bitterness and resentment we have towards someone, and without letting go of these things, they start to eat back at us spiritually, emotionally, and eventually physically. When we remain angry for extended periods of time it definitely takes a toll on our bodies, for example, with a rise in blood pressure. We have to learn to forgive and move on from the past sins that people have committed against us in order to further our lives, and in order to continue a relationship with them if we plan on continuing to do so. Our promise to others is never to bring up that sin against that person again not to God, not to the person who committed it, not to anyone else. It is a deliberate decision to deal with another’s sin by doing away with it, pressing the delete button, wiping it off our slate. Make a commitment today to forgive all of those you may be angry with, and that may have done you wrong, this past year and your whole life. Whenever you think of the way that someone has wronged you wish a blessing upon them instead of cursing them, and stay as positive as possible. Not only is forgiveness our promise to others, but it’s also a promise God has made to us.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. I think too often we wait to forgive. We wait until it feels right to do so. But forgiveness is not a feeling at all. If we wait until we feel like forgiving, it will never happen. Forgiveness is more about wiping away a debt. It is saying to a person, “You owe me nothing more; no money, no apology, no hugs, no sympathy cards, nothing. I really am no longer looking for any of that from you, you are released from any moral or ethical or legal obligations to me for this pain as much as is possible, we are going to move forward now and I will not be holding this over you any longer, waiting to hit you on the head with it if you mess up again. I will not be keeping score because where I am concerned your slate is now wiped clean. I wish the very best for you and God’s blessings on you.” Forgiveness isn’t something we wait to feel, it is something we communicate to the person who hurt us irrespective of how we feel. So while trust may be a process, the promise of forgiveness is not. But though trust and forgiveness are two different things, there is a definite relationship between them. Making the promise of forgiveness is what triggers the beginning of the trust process. Without forgiveness, there can be no more trust. But once forgiveness is given, the process of trusting again begins. Forgiveness takes a broken relationship and places it back on track for the healing process to begin. It is the first step in the healing journey. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.

Not Everyone You Lose Is A Loss


Not everyone you lose is a loss.
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Learning to love makes us deal with loss in a very upfront way. Many times we try to hold on to love when doing so only digs the hole of despair deeper for our own lives.

Moving on from a person whom you really love can be painful. Things get tough when you realize that the person you wish to spend a lifetime with isn’t a person that you can ever grow with.

Devoting your time and energy towards a person or situation that you will never be able to change alone, is a maddening process. This insane method of trying to manipulate a situation into what you want it to be often never works because it is almost impossible to change a person who doesn’t desire to do so.

Let the pain and weight of the loved one who refuses to change leave your life, or you will never find true peace or happiness.

Let Go Of The Past And The Past Will Let Go Of You


Let go of the past and the past will let go of you.
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You can never change what has happened in the past but you can make your future brighter by remembering your past and learning from it. One of the greatest things we are given as humans is the ability to learn from our past experiences, whether they are wins or pitfalls.

Remember that every day you are given new breath you have choices to make. These choices will lead you into the rest of your life, no matter how small or unimportant these choices will seem to be at the time.

So make it a point to look forward proactively. Meaning, don’t tread lightly when making decisions on a day to day basis. Choose things that will allow you to grow from who you once were into the person that you always desired to be.

Remember a mistake may be a mistake once or twice, but the mistakes that you habitually repeat will eventually become your story. Learn and become great from the experiences of yesterday.

Don’t Waste Time On People Who Don’t Deserve It


Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don’t even deserve to be an issue in your life.
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Life seems to be much too short to be stressed over people who don’t even deserve to be an afterthought in your mind. Many times we find ourselves being guilty of something that we more often than not realize is belittling to our own lives and progress made. Life isn’t something that we should knowingly allow ourselves to waste time in, because we are never guaranteed any more time to spend in this tough world.

Instead of dedicating your thoughts and energy to someone who doesn’t matter, focus on keeping people around you who do matter! Or in other words, keeping people around you who won’t be a problem in your life, but instead people who help you to create solutions for the problems you face.

Life is more than what we as a majority or society if you will, tend to think it is, and life is also much shorter than most men predict. Give your time to becoming the best person you may become, so that in turn, you may help others to become the best they may become.

People Don’t Change Unless They Want To


People don’t change unless they want to. Unless something in their life prompts it. You have to learn to see people for who they really are, right from the get-go. If you don’t like something about someone, or how they’re treating you, don’t expect that they’re going to change just for you. It’s who they are. Expecting any different only leads to frustration, disappointment and more hurt or disrespect. Not worth it!
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There aren’t many things in life that aren’t possible, but one of them is that people who don’t want to change can’t be helped to be changed by us. There are many in our lives that we know that seem to be willingly undertaken by life and its circumstances. We must all learn that though there are those in our lives who we feel aren’t getting everything out of life that they possibly can, and are living nowhere near to where they may potentially be, there is nothing that we can do for these people if they don’t want change within themselves.

The best way for us to help these people is to try to live as an example of what following your heart can do. Though there are many who need help in ways that we can’t help them, we can still help by sending our prayers and positive thoughts their way as much as possible. We must also be willing to let go of those who are inevitably headed towards destruction, because if that is what they desire in their hearts, there is truly nothing that we can do to change them, they must first want change in their own hearts.

A Problem Is A Chance For You To Do Your Best


A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
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Doing your best is first sparked by being yourself. If you can’t plant seeds that will bear fruit that you have no appetite for, you won’t eat, and when you don’t eat, you starve. Your happiness is determined by a lot of things, but at the root of it all you have to learn how to be yourself, and learn how to live a life working towards becoming your best “self”.

There will be those who try to make your life miserable by trying to tell you what you can and cant do. There will be many obstacles and barriers on the way to becoming a powerful, and confident person, knowing which direction that you want to take in life.

But, we have to continue to strive to be our best! Everything that you do today will affect your future in some sort of way. Make the best decisions for you and for the people who you desire to bless and be an inspiration to!