Tag Archive | Encouragement

Succeeding by Choice


When you are presented with a clear path toward a goal you would not have chosen for yourself, it’s important to check your motives. Achieving success in life isn’t just about intelligence, competence or experience. The key to beating your competition and succeeding is the ‘winning attitude.’

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In every moment we can pick a new direction – how to act, how to react, how others’ moods, as well as how these decisions will affect you and how you will affect others. These choices are not made only once but every moment of every day. These decisions mould and sculpt your experiences and actions in the moment and eventually your day and life. When things happen that are not to your liking you can either allow them to bring you down or choose to find the opportunities in them. Your initial decision is what matters. Your choice to “do it” screams messages of hope and belief in yourself. Don’t get me wrong, not having things turn out the way you hoped totally stinks! But don’t let that beat you down and keep you there. Remember that your effort to make it happen is the most important part. Your time on this planet is very short. The more you put on your plate, the faster your time will go. The less time you’ll have for those things which matter most because a lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.

If you lack a clear and compelling vision, you will frequently be swayed by lesser goals. In such a case, you’ll be driven by achievement and/or external validation. Hence, there is an enormous difference between true success and achievement. Success is how you feel about yourself, and can only comes from living in alignment with who you truly want to be. Achievement is an external indicator of something you’ve done, which in itself doesn’t qualify you for success. You can only be successful spending as little time as possible on things you hate. It’s all about the right attitude. When life presents its numerous challenges, you begin to lose faith in your abilities. It is then that positive attitude helps you navigate all the difficulties and face the challenges boldly. It makes you better equipped to overcome the odds and puts you back on the road to success. Nothing happens unless you choose to act now. Change happens in the moment, not over time. The effect of what we choose, of the changes we have made, happen over time and we get to choose again and again in the moment.

 

 

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Real Friends Will Always Be By Your Side


Life’s not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back and real friends are always going to be there by your side, even at times when you tell them to leave because friendship is always a sweet responsibility never an opportunity.

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The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. If you already have a real friend in your life, then you know that through thick, and through thin, they will always be there for you. Not to judge you, or to tell you that they tried to warn you before, not to bring you down, or kick you while your down, but instead to help pick you up when you fall, or to sit with you and help talk you into getting back up. Not all of us have had friends like these and if we want one all we must do is be a friend like this to someone who needs it. If you plant seeds of love, in good faith, and in good hopes, it will be returned into your own life abundantly. Be that friend for someone who needs someone by their side. Be that friend for that person going through a bad break up, family problems, or other forms of instability in their own lives, and you will surely find the same in your own life. The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything because a good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. Our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad, supportive faces, when, in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives. There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship just because your wealth is where your friends are. Always remember that it’s not where you are in life, it’s who you have by your side that matters. God bless you.

Do Not Chase People


Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. Do not chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.

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In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. Chasing people around in life will be of no benefit to you in the long run. This is mostly because you can’t make people be who you want them to be, people will always do what they truly want to do, deep down inside. What you can do is make extraordinary effort each day to be you, and to do what is in your heart, and work hard at it. The people who deserve to be in your life will come in your life, and not only will they just be a part of your life like the people of your past, but they will stay in your life as well. Cut the slack out of your life, and let go of the people that are only bringing you down. There is no reason to be burdened continually by people who don’t believe in you, when there are people out there that will. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life. Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

God is Preparing You for Greater Things


If we can achieve the ultimate state of self-mastery, we will more consistently have the personal power and peace of mind we need to get ahead, since we are not giving our time, energy, and power away to others; we are taking responsibility for ourselves and how much we can affect change in our lives. God uses uncharted territories to prepare us for new and great things. There is no growth to be found in the stagnant and mundane. Allow life’s newest “surprise” to stretch you to new limits in the best ways possible.

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Those people who have the greatest success first needed to believe in what they have to offer the world. You need to trust that your unique contribution is worthwhile. You are the only one who can make it happen for you. Others can support and encourage you, but you have to find the energy within in order to step into the center of your own life and take charge. God puts dreams in our hearts and writes a destiny over our lives. And if we trust Him enough to take Him at His word, we will find ourselves on a journey toward the fulfillment of that dream. Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. One cannot get through life without pain. What we can do is choose how to use the pain life presents to us and when you don’t understand the reason behind your struggle just know that God is preparing you. He’s developing your gifts, talents, and abilities. He’s broadening your understanding of how to navigate your way through life. We grow through adversity. We need not seek it out; we can all look back at moments when our lives were in utter chaos, desolation and despair. Growth comes when we respond to adversity by stretching just an edge beyond our talent and experience and through our struggles, God molds, shapes, and refines us. He gets us prepared to effectively fulfill our ultimate purpose in the earth because we all have weak spots and areas of inconsistency in our character. Just as God is preparing me, He is preparing you too. He’s perfecting the gifts in you. And in his timing, he will elevate you. In your struggles, God is preparing you for better. Be thankful for every experience and your latter will be greater. Always remember that life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.

Nothing In Life Comes Easy


You must pay for everything in this world one way and another. There is nothing free with the exception of God’s grace. We do bargaining everyday in our life. Every action of ours is followed by an outcome, which is the cost we pay for the action we have taken. Sometimes we do not pay attention to what we are doing, how we are behaving and how that will affect our life. Even small things sometimes make huge difference in our life.

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It’s easy to make excuses for why you cannot do things. But nothing in life is free, and not every goal is going to be simple to reach. Regardless of position, situation, or circumstance, if you want something you have to work for it. Isn’t it good to know that you don’t have to be perfect to be used by God. You don’t have to have it all together to accomplish something meaningful and lasting. Nothing is going to come right away, and if you’re looking for a quick-fix for everything, you’re not going to find it and you might as well just give up now if you insist on keeping the same attitude. If life wasn’t challenging, we’d all grow bored. God can take whatever he has already given you to do what he has created you to do before you were ever born. We just have to have the faith to believe that without being perfect and without living up to other’s opinions about us we can live a life that is both dynamic as well as pleasing and acceptable to God. Life isn’t always going to be everything you expect it to be. But you gotta suck it up and stick it out. Be glad you even have a life. So many people have wanted to live theirs and were denied the opportunity. Live yours, without excuses, and with less worry. Just take a breath, grit your teeth, smile, and keep trucking because nothing in life worth having comes easy. Nothing in life that is worth having is free. Nothing in life worth having is not without a fight.

Forgiveness Starts With Yourself


How can we forgive others, if we can’t even forgive ourselves?  None of us are perfect and we all have flaws.

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It’s not about forgiving another. Forgiveness is not about forgiving your parents, friends, loved ones. Forgiveness exists when you love yourself so much you realize all the choices you’ve made were the best choices you could make at that point in time. Nothing in life blocks the feelings of gratitude more than anger and resentment. This is why I say that the practice of gratitude requires the work of forgiveness. One can never feel grateful to your loved one who has done you wrong or abused you while you are still angry about their wrong doings, abuse or insensitivity, nor can one ever receive the gifts of a relationship that has ended. If you can forgive your friend, or even a stranger, why can’t you forgive yourself? we have to learn how to forgive ourselves. While the careless among us waste little time or conscience berating themselves for the mistakes that they have made, the overly self-conscious can’t seem to stop beating themselves over the head.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future and only you can come to the place where you want to forgive. What helps the forgiveness process is to actually understand that resentment is a second-hand attitude or emotion, plus also a cover for underlying feelings that you have never expressed. Learn from the hurt and pain that people have caused you. If you really took the time to express fully what your hurt and pain is and state your new boundary, you’ll begin to be grateful for the lessons the wound has taught you. You will be able to stand up for yourself, be kinder towards others, stop hurting other people’s feelings, betraying them or whatever the case may be. True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment. It’s fine to have high expectations for one’s self, but not if it means destroying your own self-esteem.  What loving yourself does mean, is that you learn to have self-respect and you take care of your body, mind and spirit — it means having a sense of purpose in life, striving to improve ourselves and working to help others.  For me, it really means “I love me and thus, I love you” — and if everyone centers their life around love and compassion, the world becomes a much, much better place.

 

Think Beyond Average


Nobody can be perfect. But there is still immense value you can get from debugging those inconsistencies. Making the gap between your walk and your talk a little bit smaller.

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Imperfections are part of life. I think it’s sad that some people feel that because being perfectly consistent with your values is impossible, that there is no point trying to debug the inconsistencies. Some self-improvement cynicism is the result of demanding the impossible, expecting perfection instead of progress. It’s a tough world. People step on each other to rise higher and sell each other out to earn more. There are some people who just don’t want to compete. What they earn is more than enough for some people. If you have peace with it and genuinely don’t care about earning more, then this post was not meant for you. But if you picked your path just to be safe from all this chaos, then hear me out.

Step out of the crowd of average people. Enter that game and change the values on the scoreboard. Conventional wisdom is a shortcut from actual thinking. When you rely on the majority to give you career, diet and spiritual advice you avoid thinking about these issues for yourself. Often when you peel off the covering, and start to understand the systems behind it, you can come up with more satisfying and less risky solutions to your problems. You cannot take long term decisions based on what the circumstances look like today. The road you take might seem safe right now, but what about tomorrow, next month, next year? You need to think about the future. You should not lower your expectations to meet your income, you should rise your income to meet your expectations. I’m still finding new tools, but the fact that this list is small shows that self-improvement doesn’t need to be overly complicated. One good tool, if practiced, can debug a large range of problems. Personal development and unconventional choices often lead to the most success. There are a lot of people around you who are secretly working for their dreams. You only see them out doing nothing but they spend their free time working hard. Never forget that. But despite their appearance, they often hold the least risk. So work harder. Take risks. That is the only way.