Love is a very difficult area to conquer in life, and finding that someone who is really going to be there forever seems almost impossible these days. In fact, this belief is so prevalent that many people don’t even think about marriage until much later in their adult lives.
Love works best when it’s shared, not acquired, or desired, or longed for. If we have developed a healthy relationship with ourselves and have generated ample amount of love from within, then we’ll have plenty to put out into the world. We shouldn’t be putting out the love in hopes that we get it back, but simply because we have it to give and enjoy giving it. There are many factors for the recent disbelief in long term relationships and one key reason is the fact that people are choosing to allow themselves to enter into relationships before they are truly ready. When you quit being judgmental of every little “flaw” and start becoming comfortable with who you are, you’ll be able to offer the same accepting and loving attitude to someone else as well.
One of the easiest things to do is to enter into a relationship with someone else. While one of the most difficult things to do is actually maintain a committed relationship with someone. Once you’ve fallen in love deeply, you yearn for that love; you wish to find it again. You become lonely. You begin to fantasize and create a reality that doesn’t actually exist. Then you fall in love with someone unworthy of it.
The truth is, you won’t know until you find the next person you truly fall in love with. It is for this reason that we must be willing to examine ourselves before we allow ourselves to enter into relationships with others. If you aren’t comfortable with who you are yet, you simply aren’t really going to know what you really desire from a partner in life. Not the time you spend with a phone glued to your ear or the time you spend on social media that really matter, but some real “me time”? If so, that’s a big indicator that you aren’t just looking for a relationship to fill a lonely void, and you’re ready for love.
Being alone doesn’t need to be cured, it’s a mindset, it needs to be embraced. There are people in relationships who still feel alone. There are people in crowded rooms and still feel alone. There are authors who sit and type for hours by themselves, but feel crowded by the characters in their minds. Make wise decisions when you are choosing to open your heart for love. Don’t rush or force it, but don’t run from it when you recognize either.
So, do you hold yourself back from loving until you’re sure it’s real? No. If it ends up being real, then you’ve made it. If not, then you surely had a good time for a good stretch, and because you now know you weren’t in love, moving on will be easy. Live and love as much as you can. Those will be the stories you tell when you’re old and wrinkled.